God Awful Things

My personal favorite:

Communities lucky enough to have a micro-black hole drift into town can enjoy free and permanent removal of all local waste. Installing a catapult capable of launching rusting barrels or most Ford or GM vehicles built from 1981-1992 will keep workers safely from the quantum crush.

And if cities prepare prior to the black holes arrival they can charge the surrounding areas, as in the case of Seattle, to dispose of their hazardous homeless populations, or rid the community of all cats weighing more than 15 pounds or dogs weighing less than 10 (the universal threshold for annoying pets.)

Collect all 15.