God Awful Things

That a google search for snail blood will bring up this very blog? The premier location on the internet for all your snail blood questions.

Another little known fact is that strangers love to buy me drinks. Why? I don’t know, I’m not an attractive lady, in fact, you could call me a gross dude. Yet, people buy me drinks, all the time, even if I say “no, thank you”.

Sunday after the Oscar Party™ our now $70 richer winner treated us all to a round of Duck Fart shots. Equal parts crown, kahlua, and baily’s if you’re wondering. They are also the official shot of king crab fisherman before the beginning of the alaskan king crab fishing season starts.  I’m not counting this shot, because, whilst unasked for, it was expected.

I was not all eager to be drinking or socializing sunday night, so I took my shot and the beer I was given, stepped outside, only to return to another that I hadn’t ordered.  Snowflake becomes blizzard, as they say.  A bit later a girl engages me as to why I am not smiling.  I explain that I am actually smiling, it is my happy face.  She asks to see my sad face, it is the same.  She buys me a shot which sends my brother into a tirade over why do people always buy me drinks, even people I don’t know.

It reminds me of a time one of the local bartenders asked me, “Do you know those people?”

“No”

“Well they just bought you this shot..”

“Weird”

“Yeh, I dunno, people just do that..

“It’s crazy really, I’ve seen it happen many times..”

“I’ve never really thought about it before..”

“You should totally keep track.. You need anything else?”

“Sure, I’ll have a beer.”

“Here, that one’s on me…. Holy Shit! I just did it!”

Combined with my unnatural Law & Order knowledge database, I am quite a catch.