God Awful Things

There was to be a party at Brandi’s yesterday for her beauxfreiend’s birthday, she was sick and canceled right after I’d gotten home from the grocery story saturday, where I’d bought some goods for making some gourmet shit.

All the way back in college I always dreamt of making a restaurant that created relatively low cost gourmet food, it was to be called Gourmet Shit, the phone number would be 1-800-THE-SHIT, and the slogan would be “The Best Shit in Town!”. Unfortunately, since it was college, the extent of my cooking was limited to top ramen, and the most I could spruce it up would be to add some peas and or vinegar.

A lot of time has passed between then and now (if you believe in time, man) and a few years ago I figured I should probably learn how to cook. 1. Ladies love guys that can cook 2. It’s another form of design, and 3. I like to eat.

The first year was really just experimenting with flavors I liked and watching a lot of the food network (primarily Iron Chef, as knowing an ingredient I’m going to use and making up something on the spot is my general cooking style). I have been blessed/cursed with a very good memory and remember completely pointless shit easily (like what you were wearing when we first met, down to the color of your socks), but can forget someone’s name 5 seconds after meeting them.

So the point of all of this is that I ended up making a really great dish yesterday, and I should probably share these or at least write them down so I can remember what I’ve tried.. Such as, the stuffed tomato BLT poppers, miniature cornucopias, cherry tomato snow globes with a pesto xmas tree on top, the pomegranate molasses lamb kebab w/ apples, various marinades, the Filipino bbq sauce lil smokies, etc etc.

And so I present you with this new series:

Penne Pasta with Chicken and Plum Wine Reduction, or PPCPWR if you’re into acronyms.

First: Why penne pasta? easy, Capers fit inside of them.  This is going to be all about textures both in taste and in the mouth.  Capers go with any pasta really, but I’ve always liked the way they fit inside the penne pasta, like “Hello, who’s in here? NO ONE”.. Remember, food should be fun.

Two: Diced Black Olives. “But Evan!” you say, “why not green?”, that’s easy.  See green olives have a stronger flavor, saltier, if I remember correctly, some of that has to do with them sitting in brine or some junk (have I mentioned not one lesson in cooking?), and I guess one could use smaller pieces, but I want olives for their salty flavor and because the black is going to be nice color contrast.. snazzy.

Three: Yellow Pear Tomatoes.  I supposed most small tomatoes would work just fine, I was trying to get some that would be a little sour and a little sweet, plus the yellow is nice, if I were to make this again, I’d probably do a blend of yellow and red tomatoes, just to add some more color and variety.

So, I prep the pasta, wash it cold, drain, a little olive oil and the veggies, then leave it in the fridge whilst I prep the chicken.

This is the fun part, in a 2 inch deep pan I poured in the Plum Wine.  Mashed a couple garlic cloves, julienne some red onions, some Italian Herbs, some ground pepper.  I left this heat until I can see steam coming off, then I place the chicken in (in this case two big breasts, but I was serving 8 so, you figure it out), cooking slowly.  As it cooks I shredded the chicken, some might like cubed or a big chunk, but I think the shredded path is the way to go. Mostly because I think it holds more flavor of the sauce and I dont like the idea of a big hunk of chicken taking away from the flavor of the other shit we so pain stakingly cut.  Damn it man, this is art!  Lastly, I think heat is always good, so I put in a couple peppers I had dried earlier this year.. a very good idea, in hindsight.

So just let it reduce until theres like a centimeter of wine left.. I emphasize this as all those onions and things take up space too.I scooped out everything and let it cool, leaving the sauce in the pan.  Once cool, I mixed it in with our pasta, and determining to add some red pepper since I didn’t think it had enough heat.. Not much mind you, just enough to shake your hand a say hello, not slap you across the face.  Lastly I poured a little of the sauce back in, and mixed thoroughly with salt, pepper by large spoon, let it cool in the fridge a little longer and then served, and I have to say, it was awesome.

The sweetness of the plum wine really infuses with the chicken subtly and more strongly with the onions, you then have the salt from the olives and sour from the tomatoes, with just that hint of heat.. That was truly… Some Gourmet Shit.