You know what I hate? stretched out ears.

How Big is Your Retarded?

I was a kid once, I did the whole self mutilation, I still have stupid scars on my hand I’d love to get rid of, a letter “E” and two stupid smiley faces. One of the reasons I never got tattoos is that I never trusted my judgement, good thing too, or I’d probably have a bar code tattoo on my neck, or 8-balls on my wrists.

Can You 'Ear Me Now?

If taken beyond the body’s ability to stretch, or if done improperly, damage caused can require minor surgery to repair, or may not be repairable. Blowouts from over -stretching, especially ones caused by “dead stretching”, can create scar tissue, which can lead to keloiding or hypertrophic scarring. Stretching too quickly, or skipping from one smaller gauge to a gauge more than one size larger, can cause bleeding and infection and eventually lead to a buildup of scar tissue. Scar tissue is more difficult to stretch than unharmed skin, and can make further stretching difficult.

There is a guy who always seems to be doing laundry at the same time as me, I could probably pass a can of soda through his ears.. “What are you thinking?!” I sometimes want to ask, but fear I am just being a grumpy old man..

Flibbledeflooo!

Of course, this isn’t purely limited to gents..

Uhhhh... Hey... Bay-buh!

Perhaps it is all part of some bizarre mating ritual, like a spatuletail humming bird?

And it looks that the specialist over at yahoo answers have fielded more then a few questions on how to fix ones ears that people later come to regret..

Stretched out earlobes (gauges)?

i used to have 1/2 inch gauges but had to take em off when i got locked up. now it shrank but im not into that scene anymore and im stick with a big hole in my ear (the size of a pencil). is there a way to close it???

The doctor is in…

Time.
You were probably warned that your gauges won’t ever go back to the size they started at.
But! The good news is they won’t stay that large forever. I’m guessing they’ll shrink at least back to an 8 or 12. Right now a pencil-sized hole is a 0.

To speed it up…hmmmm.
Try some neosporin.
Neosporin is made to close and shrink wounds. I would think that it would speed up the healing process, thus shrinking the holes. However, I can’t promise anything.
Give it some time. A rough estimate would be they’ll be back to normal in a month at the longest.

Edit: Please note, your ear holes can NOT be sewn up.
Dunno where that’s coming from, but it’s not possible. O____O

Hmm, wonder if they could sew up this guys face…

Eh, He Didn't Ever Wanna Get Laid Anyway..